But an agent can only represent you if they know what is going on with you. And this isn't something I can hide anymore. I don't get many people asking to see me anymore - my popularity rush after Adding Machine lasted about 2 years, then it was over - but I do still get requests to audition for things every now and then. Most are readings or workshops, which I LOVE to do. Last year I had a request to audition for the role of the Grande Damme in the Halloween production of SLEEP NO MORE - it KILLED me to turn that one down, but I saw the hours and knew I couldn't physically handle it...
I really should have informed my agent about my condition before I released the blog. But I saw that the blog was turning up in searches even with the link on my website hidden, so I knew I needed to acknowledge it. And that has forced me to send an email to my agent. And god, was that hard. I'm actually nauseated from the anxiety.
I don't expect them to market me anymore - I just hope they'll keep me listed as a client so people can reach me. But it is absolutely understandable if they don't. Agents are about business - they have to be. We'll see what they feel they can do about me.
UPDATE! August 14, 2013
I got this in my email today:
"Cyrilla, my apologies, I did read this back in May but neglected to respond to you. Of course I will still represent you in any way possible. I hope you're doing okay and please, stay in touch and let me know what's going on. xxoo,Gary."
I'm a lucky - and grateful - girl.